Sunday, October 7, 2007


I know this may sound crazy, but, what if I have good reason to believe that my 3-week-old daughter has information about a so-called “dirty bomb” that is going to explode in a major U.S. city within the hour? I have, over the past several weeks, been witness to her mysteriously producing her own yellowcake: what could this be in preparation for?

Lord, I can’t believe I’m even thinking this, but I know I must: should I torture her?

At this point, I don’t even know if I can legally tell you why I suspect her. I mean, if I’m right about this, and she is in cahoots with the bad guys, I certainly don’t want to give them my "playbook."

I guess what I’ll tell you is there has been a lot of “chatter.” She has recently taught us a new level of meaning for the word “dirty,” and she has been insinuating it all day. She "mispronounces" it with a strange accent which I can’t quite place. But her name is Aletheia, which sounds sufficiently un-American to me to ask: What would Jack Bauer do?

Help me Jack. Help us all.

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